This is very hard to explain, it sounds ridiculous, but last night I dreamed that my wife had to be put down. I don't remember why exactly, but somehow it was something that we both accepted.
When she had passed away, she was laying on the floor in front of me. A long time passed, and I noticed she was moving ever so slightly. I checked her and saw that she was moving a little and trying to breathe just a little bit. I immediately closed off her mouth and nostrils with my hands and tried to hide this from other people in the room (I don't know who these people were or how many). After quite a few minutes I could tell she was still trying to breathe a little bit, very quietly. I remember thinking that if she was able to wake up she would have a lot of brain damage, so I put her head into some water and held her down.
Quite a lot of time passed, and I was sure she had finally passed. I left the room and came back a little later, and she was now sitting up. She was crying a little and after being happy to see her at first, my first words to her were "honey I'm sorry but you have to go back in the water". She said "I know, but just a minute" and she cried a little then laughed. She was so happy to be alive again. She looked beautiful to me, I instantly became very sad that she had to die. Before this moment I was emotionless about the whole thing. I woke up right then.
Interestingly, the first thing I did when I woke up was see if she was ok beside me. I immediately thought what if I've actually smothered her in bed while having the dream?
This has been haunting me for the entire day.