15 May

Discarding Letters

Discarding Letters

Morning of May 15, 2018. Tuesday.

My dream self exists in non-lucidity in this dream, with the usual separation from viable conscious self identity. I am apparently living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house in Florida (where I have not lived since 1978), which somehow seems to be erroneously associated with living in Australia while in my dream, though it is the sole thread of my current conscious self identity.

There are two dumpsters in the front yard, which is smaller than in reality, and closer to the highway. I had apparently been cleaning the house and I am ready to get rid of some things.

I have two stacks of thin wooden letters of which are seemingly identical. Each stack contains at least the entire alphabet and perhaps some extra letters. Each letter is about four inches high. I have no use for them, so I am going to put them in the dumpster. However, I am distracted by finding two handwritten letters from Dennis (older half-brother on my mother’s side). The content of the two letters seems identical. I read both. I notice a sentence that says something like, “It is too bad that people did not use the letters and do not want to see LIFE” (only “LIFE” being printed in uppercase). I take this as an egotistical statement from him in thinking people have to respond to whatever he wants them to do. It seems like he somehow knows I am throwing the wooden letters out even though he had written the letters a few years previously. (This of course is due to the autosymbolic nature of the dream state, which many people cannot seem to grasp at all.)

The top letter on one pile is letter X. At another point, I am looking at the letters T and F, and focus on their horizontal wood grain. There is a distortion where I associate the letters with being “corrugated”, though this is incorrect, as they are not corrugated. It is probably a liminal association with the synaptic “gating” of the dream state; a play on my dreaming “core is gated”, validated by the liminal space autosymbolism of a roof being the core space between dream self and conscious self, as the carport roof in Florida was corrugated tin).

This dream then, while still in my dream, becomes associated with a very old random memory from around 1982 that surfaced the other day for no apparent reason; an event from when I was in woodshop class. Dennis had given me some very small wooden shelf railings, with short columns shaped somewhat like Chess pawns (known as “spindle railing” for shelves - shelves of this nature can be seen by image Googling “spindle railing shelf” without the quotes). He wanted them back before I got a chance to do any work on them as he had asked. I suspect that this was this dream’s vestibular system autosymbolism, which has been my most common form of dream state autosymbolism since earliest memory, as the wooden railing resembles a wooden ladder (associated with the waking transition of the dream state).

Additionally, the fictitious wooden letters from Dennis are a form of typical consciousness initiation (as discernment of printed text is not viable or consistent in the dream state so this is often used to initiate awareness of conscious self skills and the waking alert factor). I suspect there was also a distortion of “letter” with “ladder” (because of the direct transformation of the association while still in my dream), as viable thinking skills are not possible in non-lucid dream states. The correlation in this case is likely coincidental. Many factors of the English language developed this way, apparently by chance rather than intent. Thus, there is “letter” - increasing discernment of waking identity - followed by “ladder” - autosymbolic prop for waking identity. The sentence by Dennis is also a waking alert factor as it implies seeing real life outside of the dream state and not seeing dreams as always having waking life meaning as some people do.


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