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So I was in a race along with my son. This race track was more or less an old bridge with falling planks and rotten pillars. We were trying to walk along the side which seemed a bit more sturdy and safe. Not too many people in the race; I really only remember the two of us. Don't know what happened at the end.
In this dream, the 'race' gives me the sense that I am trying to keep up with my son. He is growing up too quickly and it's getting harder and harder. The track may symbolize life's journey and the fact that it is in disrepair suggests that I feel I am getting old. I am trying to' bridge the gap' between our ages and have to walk carefully and watch my step with him.
What would chocolate be without bitter cacao and sugar?
What would music be without notes and silences between?
What would a rainbow be without rain and sun?
I see now that there can be no love without loss, no joy without sorrow;
no peaks without valleys.
~Aurora Winter
Nightmares happen to everyone. Even the best people on the planet have them. In fact, I’m sure Mother Theresa had plenty of them! Here are two thoughts to alter your paradigm about nightmares.
1. Nightmares are your friend.
2. There is no such thing as a bad dream.
Allow me to explain. Albert Einstein said this is the most important question you can ask: “Is this universe friendly?” After decades of research Einstein found the answer to be an unequivocal “Yes.” In other words the entire universe is conspiring on behalf of your greatest good—this would include the obvious blessings and those that come in deep cover (i.e. nightmares.)
Think about it, we are not encouraged by our families, schools, governments, nor the media to embrace death…no! We are encouraged to preserve an idealized Teenage Dream (ode to Katy Perry) and to “make it” in the land of the living. Yet, according to mystics and shamans (men or women of power and wisdom) if we can’t embrace death, the shadow, or at least the not-so-pretty aspects of life, then we can’t fully live. This is why nightmares are so important to understand…and even to celebrate…in the light of day and in the darkest hours of our sleep.
During the late 1940s, Calvin S. Hall, a researcher at Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, compiled over 1,000 dreams and analyzed their content. Out of those dreams he found anxiety to be the most common emotion, with negative emotions reported more frequently than positive ones. Most remembered dreams, it would seem, are bad dreams. Which, we could say, is a contributing factor as to why most people don’t go out of their way to remember their dreams.
Certain nightmares are more common than others. According to Dr. Patricia Garfield of Montréal, Canada, dream expert and author of “Creative Dreaming,” dreams of being chased are experienced by 80 percent of the population, while over 60 percent dream of falling. Other common nightmares relate to being naked in public or late for a test.
Listen here to an interview I did with Dr. Patricia Garfield about this.
While undoubtedly unpleasant, these nightmares are not necessarily a bad thing, according to Ann Veilleux, a therapist at Harmónia Madison Center for Psychotherapy.
“A nightmare exposes things that perhaps you haven’t expressed in your life-—perhaps fears you didn’t know you had,” Veilleux said. “It’s an outlet and also a way of learning about yourself.”
Nightmares serve two functions in that they are either helping you rehearse for how you might handle a potential worst case scenario; or they are assisting you to vent out limited beliefs, dysfunctional patterns, or traumas lodged in your psyche (like a blood-sucking tick living rent free in your body). It never hurts to look at a nightmare from both perspectives so you can evaluate which is most relevant to you.
Here’s the basic Dream Alchemy Formula:
A.) Re-envision your dream in the waking state.
B.) Imagine redirecting your dream to unfold in a way you would have preferred.
C.) Repeat several times until the nightmare literally becomes a sweet dream.
For example, Sara, who dreamed her car was falling off a cliff, said, “In my dream, instead of my car falling off the edge of the rocky mountain road, I would prefer the road to be wider, better paved, and not so perilous. I’d also be driving slower, steadier, and paying more attention to the road I’m on instead of being distracted by my fascination with driving further up the mountain!”
From this dream re-direction you can derive Sara’s ambition (drive) has self-destructive tendencies, and she would be well advised to shift gears in order to find a more manageable, sustainable way of navigating her career path.
Conduct your own dream alchemy experiment…describe your aha.
Join the conversation! Post your dream on Dreams Cloud, then tweet it using #DreamChallenge.
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Excerpted from It’s All In Your Dreams (Conari Press). Once you buy your copy, click here to receive fr*ee dreamy gifts throughout the month of May.
There is an unseen life that dreams us. It knows our true direction and destiny. We can trust ourselves more than we realize and we need have no fear of change.
~John O'Donohue
A wise person once said, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” This is as true in dreams as it is in life. It is human nature to seek to avoid someone or something you consider unpleasant, threatening, or out of your league…even if it is an aspect of yourself. However, learning how to shine a light on that which frightens you (while awake or asleep) puts you on the fast track to self-realization, and your ultimate fearless awakening.
When Brandy came to see me, she was suffering from the following recurring nightmare:
My daughter, Vanessa, and I are in the woods looking at a school that she might attend. I look up and see a mother lion and her cub watching Vanessa. I know they want to devour her. They start running toward us and I scream for Vanessa to run away, diverting their attention toward me. The mother lion pounces on me and pins me on my back. Before she devours me I pick up a stick and throw it (as if she was a dog and we were playing fetch). The lion goes for it and chases the stick, while I take the opportunity to run away. I wake up breathless, knowing we were safe for the moment…barely.
Logically speaking I could see why this nightmare was so frightening to Brandy, but I couldn’t help but secretly be thrilled by the symbolism. I had a hunch that this nightmare held a key to Brandy’s confidence.
I shared with her, “From a quantum physics perspective you are connected to everything and everyone. You can run but you can’t hide from your shadow, nor from your light. You can create alchemy by confronting your F.E.A.R.: Face it, Embrace it, Ace it, and Replace it. After all, what you resist persists. Even though it seems scary, I’d like you to re-enter your dream—and once inside view it from the perspective of the lion (as a shadow aspect of you) attempting to empower you with a gift.”
With eyes closed, I reassured Brandy she was safe, as I led her back inside the dream. She faced the lion, and immediately broke into tears when she realized it represented her rage at her soon to be ex-husband (Hell hath no fury like a mother lion scorned!) She had suppressed her anger fearing it would devour her, which in turn she feared would devour her daughter.
I guided her to ask the lion to impart its gift to her. She immediately began to entrain to (get in sync with) the lion and she began to shake. She began to embrace the lion’s power. When I asked her how she felt she smiled through her tears, “I feel powerful…happy. I’m not afraid of my ex-husband…not afraid of my anger…not afraid of anything right now.”
I knew Brandy aced the dream when she shared, “ I didn’t think I could handle this much intensity…but I can…its energy that makes me feel …confident. I can’t believe I ever pushed this away!”
By the end of the session Brandy had demonstrated the power of the F.E.A.R. Formula She had faced her fear, embraced it, aced it, and within a few minutes, she had replaceda dream that terrified her into a dream that empowered her.
I’ve found that it is impossible to re-enter a dream and create dream alchemy without creating a real-life ripple effect. When Brandy called me after her custody hearing, she was ecstatic as she shared with me how she walked into the courthouse with her lion by her side. At no point in the meeting did she break down in tears (like she was historically—and hysterically—known for). She felt carried by an invisible strength that made it impossible to feel intimidated by her soon to be ex-husband. She walked out of court awarded full custody of her daughter, and full custody of her inner lioness.
The next time you lift your head from your tear drenched pillow, awakened from a scary dream, give thanks for these dreams that are instigators of transformation, wisdom, and even enlightenment, if you allow them.
Reframe and redirect an “unfinished dream” (aka a nightmare) and describe your“before” and “after” experience.
Join the conversation! Post your dream on Dreams Cloud, then tweet it using #DreamChallenge.
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Excerpted from It’s All In Your Dreams (Conari Press). Once you buy your copy, click here to receive fr*ee dreamy gifts throughout the month of May.
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